Did you know humans are the only species that can blush? Or so scientists think. It’s true. Blushing from embarrassment is governed by the same internal system that manages our fight or flight response. When our body encounters a stressful situation, adrenaline is released into the body triggering your fight or flight response.
In some people (especially in super fair-skinned peeps like yours truly), the veins in our faces expand to accommodate the excess blood flow. The result is a very public display that YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. Has this happened to you? Yep, it happens to me…frequently. You know that phrase “blushing from head to toe?” It’s possible. Trust me.
So why on earth am I talking about blushing? Well, on more than one occasion, I’ve wished whole-heartedly and pleaded with God, “Pleeeeease don’t let me blush.” Why? Because blushing draws attention. Chances are that you’re blushing because you are already feeling some sort of social discomfort. When those rosy cheeks make their debut, undoubtedly what follows is a, “Oh, wow. You’re red. Are you embarrassed?” Riiiight. What was your first clue?
Again, WHY am I talking about blushing? Sigh. So it started Friday night when we dropped off our oldest darling at a church-sponsored human sexuality course designed for tweens in the 5th and 6th grades. Trust me, none of those kids wanted to be there. However, at the same time, I learned that PC (Prince Charming) and I weren’t the only parents grateful for the opportunity to have help facilitating this topic with our kiddo.
FACT: Tweens bodies go through a crazy period of growth during the ages of 9-12. It’s uncomfortable. It’s awkward. Their bodies are changing. They have these strange mood swings and can’t explain why they’re happy one minute and irritated the next. They’re growing physically like weeds, and as a result, can go through periods of clumsiness because they don’t know what to do with the miles of leg they’ve just developed.
FACT: If you are older than 12, you survived being a tween and these strange and unsettling developments. It was probably weird when your parents tried to talk with you about the changes you were experiencing—that is, IF your parents even tried to address it. Mine didn’t.
PC and I decided we want our daughter to know we get it. We understand what she’s going through. Again, riiiight. So the parents were supposed to spend the first hour with the facilitator to get an overview of what our kids were going to be discussing without us on Friday night and Saturday. There were six sessions. The facilitator skimmed — SKIMMED — through the session info. With each session description, I felt that all too familiar warm sensation creeping up my neck. By the time we were done, everyone at my table had asked if I was okay. My face was on fire.
I was so glad to be there and so glad PC and I made the choice for our child to participate, but honestly, all that kept running through my mind was, “How are we already here? How is she ready for this?” Well, ready or not, she’s a tween.
Soooo PC took me for a glass of wine while we waited for our sweet girl to finish the Friday evening session. As we sat, I realized my body totally betrayed me. My mommy heart really wants what is best for my kids. I want my girls to grow into healthy, caring adults who know and love our Lord and who have a heart for serving others. In my head, I knew this class was full of information my daughter needed to have. Knowledge is power, and PC and I both want our girls to feel empowered to make good choices throughout their lifetime. They can’t make good choices if they aren’t equipped with all the information they need.
My body simply rebelled. Somewhere inside me, I felt utter panic that my daughter who was wearing princess dress-up clothes five minutes ago is now learning about sexuality and how God created boys and girls differently — beautifully, but uniquely. My flaming face was evidence of my urge to run like H-E-double hockey sticks.
I didn’t run, though. I listened. PC listened. Even more importantly, our daughter listened. Even if none of us were completely comfortable with the information we were receiving. We still talked about it. We prayed about it together.
PC and I don’t have all the answers, and we’re okay that our kids know we don’t. They need to know: We’re here for them. We’re listening.
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)
Tweens today are developing earlier and being bombarded (literally) by a culture that celebrates sensuality and instant gratification. Prayer has never been more important. Parental presence has never been more critical. Because the reality is if we don’t have these awkward conversations with our children, someone else will. I’d rather have a red face and be honest with my kids about a topic that makes me uncomfortable than remain silent and leave them to navigate unchartered waters alone.
Last night, PC and I watched a documentary about tweens and the growing prevalence of sexual activity among middle schoolers. MIDDLE SCHOOLERS! People! How scary is this? Please pray with me. Pray with me for our children–yours, mine, for all children we know and for all those we don’t. God is here with us. He’s listening.
