It’s been almost three weeks since my friend, M, was called home. The world continues to turn. Life continues to move. The sun rises. The sun sets. Days pass quickly – full of normal family activities and work. Grief is an unpredictable emotion, friends.
Because I didn’t see M everyday, my normal routine has changed little. Yet, my mind wanders as I sit a stoplight…or crawl into my special spot for quiet time…when I’m cooking dinner…when I sleep. Sadness grips my heart as I scroll through the contact list in my phone and see a friend’s number who I can no longer call “just because.”
I think of M’s sweet husband often. And I think of her parents…of M’s brother. I pray for them–knowing the grief I feel is but a glimmer of the pain that they feel daily to the core of their souls.
A very dear friend of mine who is not a Christian wept with family and friends at M’s visitation and funeral. After the visitation, my friend spoke with my parents who hugged and talked about the joy of one day seeing M again. My sweet, precious friend looked at my parents and commented about how she loved the Christian view of death and how it is so full of hope. And it is, isn’t it? Jesus conquered death. We know it’s not final.
During M’s beautiful funeral mass, the priest reminded us that every single one of us has a seat at God’s table. He reminded us that no one can fill your seat but you. God knows who is missing, and He wants all of His children to join Him at the banquet table. Through M, God opened a door to every person sitting in that sanctuary.
Every person who came to celebrate the beautiful person she was heard the gospel. God opened a door. And no one can close a door that God opens to us.
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. ~John 14:6 (NLT)
I truly believe with every fiber of my being that God does not waste any experience or trial. Did He cause M’s death? No, I don’t believe that. I do believe, however, that God used her incredible testimony of life so that others might know Him as she does.
My outlet is writing. I don’t care to sit and hash out feelings over the phone or through long, drawn-out conversations. I process my feelings on paper, and I’ve prayed about how to cope with my friend’s passing. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t see one another every day. She has friends she hasn’t seen since high school and beyond who feel a sense of loss, mourn M’s death and grieve for her family. Everyone understands pain, because at one time or another–sadly–we all experience some kind of loss or heartbreak. We live in a broken world, and part of our earthly existence is to know pain and suffering.
Over the last couple weeks, I have asked God to show me hope. To envelope all of M’s family and friends in a warm, fuzzy, comforting blanket of peace. Oh, friends. We serve an awesome and mighty God, and He is so faithful.
I couldn’t think of a more fitting way to express the hope God expresses daily than through this short video of my baby girl and her best bud. They are singing their rendition of Frozen’s “Love is an Open Door.” It.Is.Precious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_7bv6MmbTw&feature=youtu.be
I see hope when I stare into my PC’s (Prince Charming) eyes, knowing how much he loves me. I hear hope every time one of my girls giggles or says, “Mommy, I love you.” I feel hope in the adoring gazes and licks of two dogs who are always up for a walk or snuggles. Every time I embrace someone that I love.
My sweet friend knew a full life is not measured by success or wealth. Family and friends were at the core of what fulfilled her. She leaves that legacy for us.
M brought hope to so many people through her love, service and presence. Her life was a gift, and God shared her with us. And one day, we’ll see her beautiful smile again. Hear her infectious laugh. Feel the warmth of her embrace. As she stands beside Jesus and welcomes us to the banquet…
Hearing this, a man sitting at the table with Jesus exclaimed, “What a blessing it will be to attend a banquet in the Kingdom of God!” ~Luke 14:15 (NLT)
